The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric and Discredited Diseases
by Jeff Vandermeer, Tim Lebbon, Alan Moore, Neil Gaiman, China Mieville,
Michael Moorcock, Kage Baker, Mark Roberts, Stepan Chapman
The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide To Eccentric & Discredited Diseases by Dr. Jeff Vandermeer and
Dr. Mark Roberts is the commemorative 83rd edition of a classic medical resource first disseminated to
doctors worldwide in 1921. Listing "diseases" that modern medicine (rightfully) spurns to document,
these spurious conditions range from false menustration in males, to "reverse Pinocchio syndrome", to
"wife blindness", and more. The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide To Eccentric & Discredited Diseases
is clearly meant to be read and savored with a grain of salt and a sense of humor, there is also a
strong underlying message for consumers of health and medical services to be wary of medical frauds,
fads, and fringes.
- Midwest Book Review
What people are saying:
From Nightshade Books Discussion Board:
Dr. Art Sippo comments on The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric and Discredited Diseases:
The Philistines in the current medical establishment have attempted to deny to the public several medical
procedures that not only promise to give patients what they deserve... uh need but also provide the
physician with a certain amount of revenge... uh job satisfaction.
For example consider the ancient art of regional induction of general anesthesia used to relieve chronic
pain in patients who are resistant to other methods of pain control. (It is also called euphemistically
“Dr. Sippo's Pain Management Program” or “baseball bat to the back of the head.”
Unlike other pain remedies, this one is infallible. Applied often enough and with authority, it never
fails to stop the pain (eventually). No worries about toxicity, allergies, rashes, or drug interactions.
The usual dosage is QID (quartes in diem: 4 times a day) and prn (as needed) by either patient or doctor.
There are no harsh chemicals and nothing artificial. The Louisville Slugger is made from all natural wood
and gives not only tactual feed back to the operator but a satisfying audible “think” to let
you know you have connected properly. There are few more satisfying feelings than knocking the tar... uh
pain out of some whining... uh suffering chronic pain patient.
This treatment has several advantages over narcotics:
- It is not habit forming.
- There is no limit in dosing: you titrate to the desired effect.
- The FDA has no control over this treatment. It is soley under the jurisdiction of the Commissioner of Baseball.
- Sometimes you just show the patient the bat and the pain goes away. It's amazing!
Next time we will discuss the replacement of all that dreary psychotherapy for badly behaving patients with “ice water enemas until clear.” TTFN
Art Sippo MD
Dear Dr. Sippo,
I sympathize with your troubles. Believe it or not, I myself am still violently opposed by colleagues who
cannot appreciate the effectiveness of initiating treatment for organokleptopathy by dusting the patient's
body for prints.
Best,
Dr. Roderick Lewis
A Grateful Patient Responds to the New Edition of Discredited Diseases:
Disease Guide doctor escapes lobotomy!
Good news! Yet another Guide doctor has been vindicated, which leaves only nine of them still retained
in special centres. When Dr. Steve Redwood first propounded his theory of nasal implosion in Reverse
Pinnochio Disease, the medical establishment merely sniffed. Even the great (but now somewhat senile)
Dr. Lambshead himself questioned his colleague's diagnosis.
However, the August 21 issue of The New Scientist strongly supports the good doctor's theory. Two
scientists at the University of Chicago have calculated the possibility of a new big bang happening
at any particular point in space and time. This is 1 divided by 1 with a mere 100 million trillion
trillion trillion trillion zeros after it. Latest theory suggests that 'vacuum energy' can give rise
to a new universe. I quote from the learned article: 'If you are unlucky enough to have a new big
bang go off inside you, it seems a fair bet that you won't survive'. This is exactly the conclusion
to which Dr. Redwood arrived!
Faced with this evidence, the state has had to release Dr. Redwood back into the community. The case
offers new hope for his colleagues still unjustly detained.
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